Birdshit
& French at That!
Thursday
the thirteenth October, seven in the evening sat in the back of an old transit
van accompanied by Pete, Anita and the familiar smell of two old bikes and one
in tow. We were on our way to Tony & Lindas for the beginning of what we
hoped to be a pleasant weekend away.
Now
feeling quite faint on the fuel fumes and wishing that Pete had bought German so
our travelling time could have been halved, I found myself with the re-occurring
thought, as Pete was taking his second attempt at getting up the road to Tony
and Lindas, ‘This road is worse than the ones I saw in East Germany when the
wall came down. You can barely walk up it let alone drive/ride up it, and the
phrase ‘what goes up must come down’ and it does… into the entrance of the
garage. By the time we had unloaded and had prepared for the morning I was about
buggered! Before the evening ended we were entertained by the three hundred and
forty pictures of the Jeffreys’ trip to
Tasmania
. How would our trip to
Rouen
compare? (Absolutely nothing like it whatsoever, the pictures were
outstanding.)
Up
at Half five and greeted with a cup of tea, Brian and a bloody steep drive to
ride up, we were off waking up all
the neighbours as five V Twins pass by. The crossing from NewHaven to
Dieppe
is four hours so plenty of time to moan how cold the breakfast was, how crap
the weather looks and put the world to rights.
It
is always great to cross the channel and ride off the ferry on your bike just as
this day was. The ride to
Rouen
was around forty odd miles and took around an hour. Tony and Linda have visited
the City a couple of times previous so finding the Hotel was not a problem. We
checked in and the manager had a secure area for our bikes. We assessed the
situation. The weekend was not about riding hundreds of miles it was about
culture and discussions, so it decided that we should go and drink beer, after
all it was around half two in the afternoon.
The
afternoon socializing somehow bought about a competition for the weekend of who
could visit the urinals the most. Being the type to rise to any challenge I saw
that this was just that, as two of my opponents were old enough to be my dad and
should have much weaker bladders than myself ! It was also around this point
that I was the first to get shat on, then Brian. (Between you and me, I don’t
think Brian has been shat on by a bird for years.) The evening went on followed
with a meal, some more beer and myself gushing ahead in the competition.
Early
next morning after a continental breakfast of aspirin and orange juice followed
with half an hour back in my bed we assembled for a stroll around the market and
after apparent finds of engines, horn covers and speedos, we rode out of town to
get some fresh air. The ride that day was typical of the weekend, miles of
bimbling around, taking in the sights drinking and eating well and seeing who
could wee the most. It was also Petes’ turn to get shat on, he took his in the
face. We rode out of the city along the
Seine
, stopped off more than a few times for coffee or for a cup of tea and carrot
cake, which by the time I had returned from putting another notch on my lead had
turned into a large Warsteiner. We rode around eighty miles. Linda even managed
to do some shopping. I’m sure it was the only shop in La Bouille, an art shop.
You cannot help those impulse buys of framed paintings when you’re on a
motorbike!!!!! That evening like the one before was warm enough to sit outside
enjoying the surroundings, a few beers and a fantastic meal.
Sunday
we set off in the direction of Fecamp on the coast, this was around an hour and
a half’s ride. This to is a nice place where we stopped for a while, had a
drink and scored a few more points, it is also where it started to rain and did
so for the rest of our ride along the coast to
Dieppe
. Stopping off at
Dieppe
was obviously our last deposit of puddles of straight fifty on French soil. We
had a few hours to spend here so after a walk around the town, the harbour and
beach we went for a slap up meal and a cup of tea. This time on my return from
scoring another point, my cup of tea had turned into a litre of beer, so with
the finish line in sight we were really going for a huge lead ! By now I was not
thinking about what I was going to eat on the ferry and I noticed that spending
the weekend together had made us familiar enough for open flatulence, had the
competition category changed?
The
crossing back was a late one, the boat was an Italian ship and the Italian crew
had a rather odd way of tying motorcycles to the ships hull with orange rope.
This is an instance sooner forgotten. Apart from the boat sounding like it was
going to sink and the crew walking around like they had just been given the
death sentence, it was good for us to rest our digestion systems and ponder on a
great weekend.
Apart
from a brief sticky break, a battery change, a broken bone and an unexpected but
impressive doughnut!, the event went without a hitch. I won hands down !!
Although I think the best behaved bike or biggest wheelie will do for next time.
I also feel that everyone there could of done with a shave,
haircut and a good stint in the army, but they know that by now?
I would
like to thank Tony and Linda for raising the idea and organizing it. It is
always the simple off the cuff weekends that stick in your mind, and like I said
for some reason it is always great to ride off the ferry the other side for a
weekend away.
Rouen
, despite being heavily bombed in WW2 has an impressive amount of medieval
architecture. The cathedral, along with many other buildings were rebuilt,
although some of what they have put up deserves a kneecapping.
Rouen
is the capital of
Normandy
and it is where Joan of Arc was burnt at the stake. I can assure you that there
are plenty of places to drink and eat. Not too sure on the museums though !
Stuart
Alexander